I Choose Me

This past November I attended The Way Up Conference which is designed for women who work in higher education.  Being a Type A personality, I always go through the breakout sessions before a conference, identify those I plan to attend and get excited about all the new information I can learn.  One of the sessions I had planned to attend was cancelled so 2 women stepped in with a presentation based around the book, 'Stretched Too Thin'.

I've always been a believer that God works in mysterious ways and this presentation was once again God's way of intervening in my life.  Over the past 4 months I had become stressed, depressed, angry and anxious.  Some of the suggestions during the presentation motivated me to read the book when I returned home.  I was able to find a free copy to download to my Kindle and it probably sounds cliche, but I believe this book has changed my life.  Over the next week I did all the exercises in the book.  It was a great time for self-reflection and I discovered a new concept called self-care.  Sure, I'd heard about self-care before, but I was definitely not practicing it.  Being a single mom for over 17 years and developing strong independence as an adult, I often feel like I have to be self-sufficient and not ask for help.  At first self-care felt like I was being selfish, but as I began to make it a daily practice, I discovered that I could be a better mother, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, advisor and more importantly, a better person through this practice.  It's not selfish to take care of ourselves.  In fact we must take care of ourselves in order to take care of others.

I had also recently heard the expression, 'It's okay not to be okay'.  This resonated with me and I began to ask for help and say 'no' more.  When people asked me how I was, I would respond 'okay'.  Not good.  Not fine.  Just okay.  And I was okay with that response.  I also realized that most people do not even listen for your response (or maybe even care), but that's okay too.

Stretched Too Thin refers to seasons in our lives and I realize I am in another new season of my life as my daughter prepares to head for college in a couple years, my parents are aging and I am at the mid-point of my career.  Bails 'n Me has been a special way for me to capture all the special moments in my life over the past 9 years so I plan to put my self-care into practice and reflect on this season of my life more through blogging.

Finally I have to suggest if you are a woman who feels stretched too thin, take some time to read this book.  It's a quick read and applying even a couple suggestions from the book could change how you live your life.